do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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