ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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