who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
