Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
