i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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