I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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