we have officially lost it.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
