She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so much tequila, so little girl.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize