she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
