I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Well I just put wine in my tea
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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