Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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