mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
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