elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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