Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
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My vagina just recognized that song.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
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The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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