I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize