sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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