what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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