I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
