He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
