She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
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Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
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I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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