I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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