you guys were way drunker than both of me
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
