I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
