Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
