I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Your dad touched me again.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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