okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Randomize
