So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
