sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
