Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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