Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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