a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
