We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
cat food counts as protein by the way
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
