Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize