i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
