if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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