help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Its about making memories worth repressing
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
