porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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