i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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