Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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