idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
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I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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