we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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