She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
