He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
