office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
