I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
