Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
