Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Randomize
