i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
