This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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