They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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