thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
