I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Randomize
