I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
