We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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