i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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