he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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