i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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