If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
