He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
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Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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