I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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