i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
