I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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