she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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