I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
