OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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