he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Randomize