Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
