Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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