So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
