we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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