Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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