I'm lost and stupid without you.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
