how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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