im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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