happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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