I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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