i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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